Review: If You Leave Me

If You Leave Me by Crystal Hana Kim
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Crystal Hana Kim's If You Leave Me is an elegiac novel of historical fiction centering on the period of the Korean Civil War and its aftermath. Told from the perspective of multiple characters, we see life in Korea during this challenging period of time. Haemi is a sixteen-year-old young woman struggling to care for her sickly younger brother Hyunki while living in a refugee camp. She and her longtime best friend Kyunghwan steal time together. Kyunghwan loves Haemi but feels he has little he is able to offer her to better her circumstances. His cousin Jisoo is determined to marry Haemi, in spite of their precarious circumstances. He quickly learns the key to Haemi's hand in marriage lies in trying to provide better care for Hyunki. Kyunghwan and Haemi, whose affection for one another is palpable are star-crossed. Jisoo offers her security and Kyunghwan offers her love and friendship. Feeling she has few viable choices and trying to safeguard her younger brother and family, as women have during times of war since time immemorial, Haemi marries Jisoo. She finds both the marriage and motherhood to be very hard, though she loves her children and feels something akin to love for Jisoo. When Kyunghwan reenters her life, further emotional struggles ensue, especially as Jisoo become increasingly abusive. Haemi's daughter's views of their mother and father are given voice with her daughter Solee's narrative.

This is a poignant novel, capturing a period of time that has been fundamental in modern Korean history. It exemplifies living in times when the only choices are bad choices and how living with the bad choice you had to make can, over time, become all but unbearable. It also portrays the struggles of motherhood and depression in ways we don't often see talked about, especially in the context of a culture that prizes reserve and pride. (Some of Elena Ferrante's novels spring to mind.) As in the real world of a sharply divided country, tearing apart a country means that everyone loses something. If You Leave Me shows us just how much can be lost.


I received a Digital Review Copy from Edelweiss and William Morrow, along with a paper ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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