Review: Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette

Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette by Judith Martin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In looking at this book, there are two ways in which I reveal my age. The first is that I grew up reading Miss Manners in the first place and the second is that I still own her first book. And the updated version, not because being polite changes, but because times change and throw new situations at our ability to be polite. Which leads us to "Minding Miss Manners: In the Era of Fake Etiquette," a book that has made me laugh as much as it has made me groan as I either recognize situations I have lived or am horrified by situations that are even crasser than I thought possible.

This is an invaluable book, and honestly, for any of us with adult children, it's the perfect gift for them before they embark on important life stages like marriage and children. Miss Manners will explain, in no uncertain terms, why, no, you don't have a year to send a thank you note for your wedding gifts, and also why sending an internet generated generic thank you card in lieu of a handwritten thank you is absolutely crass. (Yes, it saves you soooo much time, just like the gift-giver could have saved their own time by not getting you a gift at all.) She also debunks the idea that you have to commit to all kinds of nonsense due to social pressure at work or in your family, or because friends are inconsiderate of your financial situation (which, by the by, is none of their business). And she has thoughts about the effects of social media on society at large. (It's not very social, for instance, since it often degrades the impetus toward actual in-person interaction.) She will also explain why inviting someone for tea is such a delightful solution to many meal dilemmas.

All in all, this is a book that should be on everyone's shelf, after you have read it from cover to cover, taken notes, and sworn an oath to live by these tenets of decency and civility.

The audiobook, beautifully narrated by Judith Martin's daughter Jacobina (Bina) Martin, is notable in Jacobina's ability to avoid peels of laughter over some of the situations presented, and that she hasn't resorted to hissing over others. I'm really not sure how she did it, other than having been raised in a family in which such things were constantly discussed. While I enjoyed the audiobook, I confess to having ordered the hardcover, since it is easier to bookmark passages to refer to as needed.

I received an audio and digital review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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